New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
