Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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