i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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