You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
