it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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