CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
