At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
