I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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