OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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