I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
