Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
