it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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