it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
