Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
As shirtless as possible
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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