CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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