I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Randomize
