Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
