I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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