apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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