so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
false alarm. still invincible.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
