So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
