dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
