I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
