Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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