i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
