Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
