its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
