so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
