It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
