I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
