i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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