Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
