Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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