You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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