Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
