At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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