dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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