You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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