mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
