He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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