Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
