i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
