whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
