ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
