Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
