beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
