Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
