i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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