Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
