when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Alive.
So much puke
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
