Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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